








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 261 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3511 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4160 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2670 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2895 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,435,851 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KABALIO-lll | 60% | 47 |
| #2 | xaio ❟❛❟ | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | AZZOCAT | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Neaven | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Sedunda | 45% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KABALIO-lll | 60% | 47 |
| #2 | xaio ❟❛❟ | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | AZZOCAT | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Neaven | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Sedunda | 45% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sedunda | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | AZZOCAT | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | KABALIO-lll | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AZZOCAT | 504 | 0.42 | 12 min |
| #2 | Sedunda | 200 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Neaven | 70 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | KABALIO-lll | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | xaio ❟❛❟ | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KABALIO-lll | +2.14 | 73 | 55 |
| #2 | AZZOCAT | +0.71 | 55 | 69 |
| #3 | Serkeny | +0.41 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | xaio ❟❛❟ | +0.17 | 84 | 63 |
| #5 | Sedunda | -0.68 | 73 | 54 |





