










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 119 | 46% |
| Smokes | 41 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 68 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 30 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,087 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolphin | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | SeniorMcFluff_ | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Koyoi | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Masones | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | 𝔊𝔥𝔵𝔰𝔱 ♡ | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masones | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Koyoi | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Dolphin | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Winton | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolphin | 43 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Masones | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Koyoi | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | 𝔊𝔥𝔵𝔰𝔱 ♡ | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kaijou | 6 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaijou | +6.02 | 69 | 74 |
| #2 | Dolphin | +3.88 | 77 | 40 |
| #3 | Koyoi | +3.09 | 67 | 23 |
| #4 | Masones | -2.28 | 63 | 12 |
| #5 | 𝔊𝔥𝔵𝔰𝔱 ♡ | -2.61 | 59 | 31 |





