








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 986 | 44% |
| Smokes | 281 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 600 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 371 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $96,223 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | LAAARRRYYY | 44% | 36 |
| #11 | capikoy | 43% | 14 |
| #12 | AndPerhaps... | 40% | 10 |
| #13 | DomeReceiver69 | 39% | 18 |
| #14 | CowieChow | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LAAARRRYYY | 16 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | p1ro | 6 | 0.0176 |
| #3 | Kenny | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | DomeReceiver69 | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | capikoy | 3 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LAAARRRYYY | 99 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | DomeReceiver69 | 84 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | n | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kenny | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | CowieChow | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n | +2.13 | 67 | 51 |
| #2 | p1ro | +2.08 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Kenny | +1.99 | 58 | 55 |
| #4 | LAAARRRYYY | +1.52 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | DomeReceiver69 | +1.23 | 78 | 40 |





