








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 486 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 741 | 20% |
| Smokes | 976 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 975 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1074 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $826,441 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ra1l3s | 52% | 67 |
| #2 | Vennevold | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | SomSom | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | |ⓢn0x| | 47% | 68 |
| #5 | ★ | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ra1l3s | 52% | 67 |
| #2 | Vennevold | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | SomSom | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | |ⓢn0x| | 47% | 68 |
| #5 | ★ | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |ⓢn0x| | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Ra1l3s | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | SomSom | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ★ | 2 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |ⓢn0x| | 337 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ra1l3s | 226 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | SomSom | 53 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | ★ | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vennevold | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V1ktor loves cocks | +3.13 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | |ⓢn0x| | +0.93 | 68 | 75 |
| #3 | SomSom | -0.40 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | Ra1l3s | -2.12 | 42 | 66 |
| #5 | ★ | -2.91 | 58 | 54 |





