








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1821 | 48% |
| Smokes | 725 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1001 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 259 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $323,257 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bmw enjoyer | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | BallJackJonhson | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | Juha | 46% | 48 |
| #4 | iharauhassa | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | yassnga | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bmw enjoyer | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | BallJackJonhson | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | Juha | 46% | 48 |
| #4 | iharauhassa | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | yassnga | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BallJackJonhson | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Juha | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Bmw enjoyer | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juha | 175 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | BallJackJonhson | 122 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bmw enjoyer | 110 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | yassnga | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | iharauhassa | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BallJackJonhson | +3.14 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | mikesiu | +1.71 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | Bmw enjoyer | -0.12 | 68 | 44 |
| #4 | iharauhassa | -0.59 | 47 | 59 |
| #5 | yassnga | -2.34 | 71 | 53 |





