








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1949 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1105 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1966 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2178 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,868,990 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 662 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boss_dun_Goofed | 45% | 124 |
| #2 | Yeet-Bix | 45% | 129 |
| #3 | Good Name | 43% | 76 |
| #4 | BillyGhost808 | 38% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boss_dun_Goofed | 45% | 124 |
| #2 | Yeet-Bix | 45% | 129 |
| #3 | Good Name | 43% | 76 |
| #4 | BillyGhost808 | 38% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boss_dun_Goofed | 22 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Yeet-Bix | 18 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Good Name | 14 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | BillyGhost808 | 7 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BillyGhost808 | 555 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Boss_dun_Goofed | 334 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Yeet-Bix | 265 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Good Name | 61 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boss_dun_Goofed | +4.90 | 66 | 58 |
| #2 | Yeet-Bix | +2.90 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | Good Name | +0.44 | 38 | 28 |
| #4 | BillyGhost808 | -2.14 | 32 | 38 |
| #5 | ratX | -3.45 | 10 | 50 |





