










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5856 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6689 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 11781 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 9783 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,837,750 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Urbam | 62% | 117 |
| #2 | naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa' | 60% | 163 |
| #3 | 𝕨𝟙ℕ𝕕 | 51% | 331 |
| #4 | ✪EGO | 49% | 85 |
| #5 | CrazyPlayer | 49% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕨𝟙ℕ𝕕 | 1523 | 0.21 | 45 min |
| #2 | naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa' | 1039 | 0.32 | 25 min |
| #3 | konaM* | 563 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #4 | CrazyPlayer | 322 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | ? | 317 | 0.10 | 8 min |





