








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1977 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1132 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 869 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 628 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $821,073 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOMMY | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Hassan al-Pepé | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Autism Hunter | 43% | 77 |
| #4 | Skliba | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOMMY | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Hassan al-Pepé | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Autism Hunter | 43% | 77 |
| #4 | Skliba | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Autism Hunter | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Hassan al-Pepé | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | TOMMY | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Autism Hunter | 119 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Hassan al-Pepé | 58 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Skliba | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | TOMMY | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hassan al-Pepé | +4.37 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | Mr. Tokmanni | +1.09 | 48 | 50 |
| #3 | Skliba | -0.95 | 39 | 39 |
| #4 | TOMMY | -1.10 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | Autism Hunter | -3.59 | 32 | 40 |





