








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2094 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1800 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2187 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2245 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,757 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zennG | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | Staferson | 60% | 103 |
| #3 | Lupetto 💎 | Trading skins | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | squeaky | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zennG | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | Staferson | 60% | 103 |
| #3 | Lupetto 💎 | Trading skins | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | squeaky | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Staferson | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | squeaky | 9 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | zennG | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Staferson | 128 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | squeaky | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | zennG | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lupetto 💎 | Trading skins | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zennG | +4.12 | 88 | 55 |
| #2 | MibL | +2.12 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | squeaky | +0.68 | 85 | 62 |
| #4 | Staferson | -0.20 | 62 | 51 |
| #5 | Lupetto 💎 | Trading skins | -2.13 | 61 | 49 |





