








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1172 | 36% |
| Smokes | 837 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 685 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 606 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,383 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kappa | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | wecks | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | drin | 45% | 33 |
| #4 | Avexez | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kappa | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | wecks | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | drin | 45% | 33 |
| #4 | Avexez | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drin | 11 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | Avexez | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drin | 172 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kappa | 43 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | wecks | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Avexez | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kappa | +5.14 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | Avexez | +1.00 | 52 | 28 |
| #3 | Kai | +0.95 | 58 | 64 |
| #4 | drin | -0.31 | 57 | 54 |
| #5 | wecks | -0.70 | 82 | 48 |





