








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 858 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3129 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2093 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3670 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3194 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,438,251 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2845 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfi | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | fallesen^ | 55% | 85 |
| #3 | TWW_Andersen | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Sacraz | 47% | 45 |
| #5 | Omar Nr. 1 bandit | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfi | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | fallesen^ | 55% | 85 |
| #3 | TWW_Andersen | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Sacraz | 47% | 45 |
| #5 | Omar Nr. 1 bandit | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sacraz | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | fallesen^ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Alfi | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Omar Nr. 1 bandit | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | TWW_Andersen | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sacraz | 189 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Alfi | 139 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Omar Nr. 1 bandit | 95 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | fallesen^ | 89 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | TWW_Andersen | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fallesen^ | +2.47 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | Sacraz | +1.50 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | lauritsss | +1.47 | 88 | 61 |
| #4 | Omar Nr. 1 bandit | -1.45 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | Alfi | -2.00 | 45 | 54 |





