








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 248 | 25% |
| Smokes | 322 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 196 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 225 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,858 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RileycantReid | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | kms | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Wolve | 44% | 39 |
| #4 | purps1n | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Florianus der Prächtige | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RileycantReid | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | kms | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Wolve | 44% | 39 |
| #4 | purps1n | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Florianus der Prächtige | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolve | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | kms | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | RileycantReid | 2 | 0.0408 |
| #4 | purps1n | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolve | 63 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | kms | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | purps1n | 27 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Florianus der Prächtige | 7 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | RileycantReid | 5 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kms | +2.33 | 90 | 45 |
| #2 | RileycantReid | -0.13 | 92 | 46 |
| #3 | Wolve | -0.42 | 77 | 42 |
| #4 | purps1n | -0.94 | 85 | 63 |
| #5 | Oeyni | -2.07 | 66 | 48 |





