








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 796 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3126 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1765 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1243 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2060 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,528,994 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1819 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | talobms | 50% | 333 |
| #2 | Satan is a winner | 49% | 186 |
| #3 | spooky | 49% | 411 |
| #4 | voidlol | 30% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | talobms | 50% | 333 |
| #2 | Satan is a winner | 49% | 186 |
| #3 | spooky | 49% | 411 |
| #4 | voidlol | 30% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | talobms | 127 | 0.0211 |
| #2 | Satan is a winner | 77 | 0.0221 |
| #3 | spooky | 57 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | voidlol | 43 | 0.0348 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spooky | 590 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | Satan is a winner | 429 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | talobms | 217 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | voidlol | 71 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satan is a winner | +4.10 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | talobms | +1.67 | 53 | 21 |
| #3 | Eye of Cthulhu | +0.68 | 52 | 33 |
| #4 | spooky | +0.24 | 53 | 43 |
| #5 | voidlol | -5.57 | 3 | 14 |





