








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 726 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2022 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2786 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2012 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2121 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,095,869 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blaziken | 70% | 167 |
| #2 | Slippy | 63% | 122 |
| #3 | Trademarked™ | 60% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blaziken | 70% | 167 |
| #2 | Slippy | 63% | 122 |
| #3 | Trademarked™ | 60% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slippy | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Trademarked™ | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Blaziken | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trademarked™ | 411 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Blaziken | 410 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Slippy | 66 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trademarked™ | +4.73 | 68 | 54 |
| #2 | Blaziken | +3.55 | 56 | 56 |
| #3 | CockDog7 | +1.97 | 36 | 53 |
| #4 | Slippy | -4.19 | 12 | 25 |





