








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 2 different maps


Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
95 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 165 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 49 | 30% |
| Smokes | 35 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 48 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 33 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $36,540 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tokyo | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | moog | 0% | 4 |
| #7 | dodecahedron | 0% | 6 |
| #8 | Cheese.jpg | 0% | 7 |
| #9 | TrueEvil | 0% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dodecahedron | 9 | 0.0750 |
| #2 | TrueEvil | 6 | 0.0377 |
| #3 | RealBabyBears | 6 | 0.0400 |
| #4 | Cheese.jpg | 3 | 0.0201 |
| #5 | dogpun | 2 | 0.0476 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrueEvil | +2.41 | 81 | 24 |
| #2 | dogpun | +2.14 | 58 | 6 |
| #3 | RealBabyBears | +0.55 | 38 | 38 |
| #4 | moog | +0.00 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | Tokyo | -1.22 | 78 | 60 |





