








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 336 | 19% |
| Smokes | 534 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 504 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 354 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,569 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Papa 1 | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | 𝕁𝕖𝕡𝕡𝕖™ | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | Rock Fjellstad | 46% | 41 |
| #7 | VIOLENT2JZ | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | ϟ︎ fucking ass in this game | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blood, El Chapo™ | 5 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Rock Fjellstad | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Papa 1 | 4 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | VIOLENT2JZ | 1 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | ϟ︎ fucking ass in this game | 1 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ϟ︎ fucking ass in this game | +6.61 | 77 | 38 |
| #2 | xRayOG and chill | +2.49 | 85 | 75 |
| #3 | Hans-Johan Thaimannen Taaland | +1.92 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | Blood, El Chapo™ | +1.59 | 48 | 55 |
| #5 | 𝕁𝕖𝕡𝕡𝕖™ | +0.64 | 64 | 70 |





