








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1597 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Wingman | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5276 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4512 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4357 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1204 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,550,693 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thatredime | 44% | 273 |
| #2 | Old Rip Van Winkle | 43% | 82 |
| #3 | Woodford Reserve | 40% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thatredime | 44% | 273 |
| #2 | Old Rip Van Winkle | 43% | 82 |
| #3 | Woodford Reserve | 40% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thatredime | 60 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Woodford Reserve | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Old Rip Van Winkle | 12 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thatredime | 499 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Woodford Reserve | 309 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Old Rip Van Winkle | 144 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D | +3.30 | 50 | 54 |
| #2 | Old Rip Van Winkle | -2.10 | 26 | 39 |
| #3 | thatredime | -2.31 | 45 | 43 |
| #4 | Woodford Reserve | -4.59 | 28 | 36 |





