








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 595 | 30% |
| Smokes | 435 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 522 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 461 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,869 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Aspekt_347 | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | Baron Quid PRO Quo II. | 36% | 11 |
| #11 | El Navaja | 33% | 6 |
| #12 | Baron Charles v. Sprayhausen II. | 25% | 4 |
| #13 | ƮǞƮƮΦΦisƮ derankservice | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aspekt_347 | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | H4rleym3ch4nic #derankservice | 17 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | ƮǞƮƮΦΦisƮ derankservice | 16 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | Baron Spray Charles II. | 15 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Baron von Schmand und Faktor II. | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baron Cast0r | +6.35 | 72 | 83 |
| #2 | Baron Ad0nis der Bäinis II. | +4.41 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | Baron von Schmand und Faktor II. | +4.08 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | Baron Spray Charles II. | +1.98 | 79 | 74 |
| #5 | Baron Charles v. Sprayhausen II. | +1.85 | 56 | 73 |





