








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2057 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1308 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2045 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1641 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,360 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1KEWISE! | 100% | 18 |
| #2 | Vampcy | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | youtube.com/@Ycat_oe | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | Bull Milker | 42% | 48 |
| #5 | Tracy The Tranny | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bull Milker | 124 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | youtube.com/@Ycat_oe | 110 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Vampcy | 97 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tracy The Tranny | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | shadow_799 | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |





