








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 892 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 836 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4405 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6146 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7969 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5313 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,516,572 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 570 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StatTrak™ MILF | 57% | 83 |
| #2 | Your Dad | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | binned | 47% | 70 |
| #4 | Franklin | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StatTrak™ MILF | 57% | 83 |
| #2 | Your Dad | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | binned | 47% | 70 |
| #4 | Franklin | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binned | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | StatTrak™ MILF | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Your Dad | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Franklin | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Franklin | 221 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Your Dad | 183 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | binned | 130 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | StatTrak™ MILF | 116 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StatTrak™ MILF | +1.24 | 88 | 51 |
| #2 | d1fficult | +1.15 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | Franklin | -0.26 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | binned | -0.79 | 60 | 48 |
| #5 | Your Dad | -1.69 | 54 | 54 |





