










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 150 | 15% |
| Smokes | 360 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 422 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 72 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,214 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stracciatella | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | LinusDapper | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | ケア。 | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | NyauchiSM | 43% | 47 |
| #5 | Maffe | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Maffe | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | Crazzeh | 36% | 28 |
| #7 | Leka | 31% | 35 |
| #8 | BanaaniMies32 | 23% | 13 |
| #9 | Faqir Al-Qasim | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NyauchiSM | 13 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | Leka | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | ケア。 | 3 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | LinusDapper | 3 | 0.0141 |
| #5 | Faqir Al-Qasim | 2 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NyauchiSM | 119 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | ケア。 | 46 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Leka | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Faqir Al-Qasim | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | BanaaniMies32 | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stracciatella | +6.04 | 64 | 55 |
| #2 | LinusDapper | +5.21 | 73 | 28 |
| #3 | BanaaniMies32 | +3.14 | 69 | 18 |
| #4 | ケア。 | +2.31 | 74 | 40 |
| #5 | Crazzeh | +1.99 | 66 | 34 |





