








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 655 | 27% |
| Smokes | 766 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 510 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 504 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $233,741 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ ниеmиик | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | NOUTAJA神 | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | Loimian | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | Hautsa° | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Fraqy =D | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fraqy =D | 3 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Master Senséi♛ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | JomQ_og | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ★ ниеmиик | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master Senséi♛ | 213 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | JomQ_og | 85 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fraqy =D | 53 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Loimian | 52 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | mirool | 49 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mirool | +3.58 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | Master Senséi♛ | +2.34 | 86 | 68 |
| #3 | Hautsa° | +1.77 | 89 | 79 |
| #4 | JomQ_og | +1.25 | 78 | 61 |
| #5 | NOUTAJA神 | +1.11 | 74 | 64 |





