








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2831 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4570 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2809 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3084 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,371 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ysnz | 59% | 58 |
| #2 | gu1zera | 55% | 89 |
| #3 | Akhenaton | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | gUASSÚ | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | 三浦 m1uRa アレミウラ | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gUASSÚ | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | 三浦 m1uRa アレミウラ | 50% | 52 |
| #6 | Alphasuke | 49% | 194 |
| #7 | Joozim | 46% | 41 |
| #8 | tnr | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alphasuke | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | tnr | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | gu1zera | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ysnz | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Akhenaton | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alphasuke | 821 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | gu1zera | 597 | 0.32 | 17 min |
| #3 | 三浦 m1uRa アレミウラ | 241 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | gUASSÚ | 219 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | tnr | 170 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akhenaton | +2.19 | 59 | 58 |
| #2 | ⚡Frodex | +1.72 | 60 | 58 |
| #3 | ysnz | +1.68 | 87 | 61 |
| #4 | gUASSÚ | +1.48 | 59 | 67 |
| #5 | Alphasuke | -0.26 | 44 | 57 |





