










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 96 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3855 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4250 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3195 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3650 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $735,763 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 418 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roLE_dA_dEsTroyeR=D | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | SNP | 66% | 97 |
| #3 | 1 | 66% | 331 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roLE_dA_dEsTroyeR=D | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | SNP | 66% | 97 |
| #3 | 1 | 66% | 331 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNP | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | 1 | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | roLE_dA_dEsTroyeR=D | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | 824 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #2 | SNP | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | roLE_dA_dEsTroyeR=D | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samo | +4.19 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | 1 | +3.27 | 91 | 52 |
| #3 | SNP | +0.40 | 81 | 44 |
| #4 | roLE_dA_dEsTroyeR=D | -0.09 | 45 | 65 |





