








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 25% |
| Smokes | 935 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 856 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 853 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,905 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Greg | 52% | 61 |
| #2 | wildflower | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | ValtzX | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | AJR | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Atlantic | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AJR | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Atlantic | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | Cabbage | 41% | 22 |
| #7 | samuRA1 | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | chops | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Greg | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | ValtzX | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Cabbage | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | AJR | 1 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Atlantic | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Greg | 165 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | ValtzX | 129 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cabbage | 99 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | AJR | 44 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #5 | Atlantic | 42 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samuRA1 | +3.67 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | AJR | +2.29 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | Cabbage | +1.52 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | Atlantic | +1.23 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | Papa Greg | +0.99 | 63 | 55 |





