








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 589 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3562 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4017 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4221 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5022 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,344,649 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Requiem Burger | 50% | 349 |
| #7 | RioNaka | 49% | 314 |
| #8 | KAARIS | 48% | 121 |
| #9 | ☢𝕂𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕠𝕄☢ | 47% | 49 |
| #10 | Caroolines | 43% | 44 |





