








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 152 | 25% |
| Smokes | 115 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 223 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 123 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $111,100 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sehnsucht | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | hopah | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Ragg | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | BOBBY WIT DA TOOL | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Pungsi | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAV | 2 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Ragg | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAV | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | VViper | 33 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #3 | Ragg | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | BOBBY WIT DA TOOL | 20 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Biggie Smalls | 17 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAF ツ | +6.23 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | hopah | +5.24 | 68 | 81 |
| #3 | downabitz | +4.60 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | Biggie Smalls | +4.46 | 63 | 80 |
| #5 | sehnsucht | +2.32 | 46 | 72 |





