








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1495 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1548 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 747 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1036 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,133 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jNK© 𓁹‿𓁹 | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Kermit Th'frog | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Valen | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ✪ Rosland | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Matt-E | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt-E | 432 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | jNK© 𓁹‿𓁹 | 327 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kermit Th'frog | 143 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ Rosland | 133 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Valen | 112 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Depresso Sondor | +2.77 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | jNK© 𓁹‿𓁹 | +1.43 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | Matt-E | +0.45 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | k0rr. | +0.02 | 77 | 73 |
| #5 | ✪ Rosland | -0.46 | 58 | 62 |





