








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 948 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3963 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2948 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4315 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2729 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $910,754 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 767 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :) | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | 4҉/2҉0҉ | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Nikolajjalokin | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | jeff_mills | 59% | 39 |
| #5 | xander2k | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nikolajjalokin | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | jeff_mills | 59% | 39 |
| #5 | xander2k | 54% | 26 |
| #6 | Mamyteen | 53% | 19 |
| #7 | ᵐʸˢᵗᶦᶜ | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xander2k | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | 4҉/2҉0҉ | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | jeff_mills | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ᵐʸˢᵗᶦᶜ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeff_mills | 204 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | 4҉/2҉0҉ | 102 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mamyteen | 81 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | xander2k | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | :) | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minecrafter42069blazeit360<3xD | +3.12 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | Nikolajjalokin | +3.03 | 71 | 20 |
| #3 | 4҉/2҉0҉ | +2.91 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | xander2k | +0.80 | 89 | 50 |
| #5 | :) | +0.69 | 67 | 56 |





