








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1905 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1405 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1462 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1375 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,790 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐒𝐤a𝐮ツ | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Maukkanen | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | zz | 55% | 78 |
| #4 | Jonesi | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐒𝐤a𝐮ツ | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Maukkanen | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | zz | 55% | 78 |
| #4 | Jonesi | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zz | 12 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | 𝐒𝐤a𝐮ツ | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Maukkanen | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Jonesi | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zz | 354 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | 𝐒𝐤a𝐮ツ | 98 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jonesi | 66 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Maukkanen | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonesi | +1.46 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | Lasse_Demon | +1.21 | 81 | 56 |
| #3 | zz | +0.90 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | Maukkanen | +0.52 | 83 | 50 |
| #5 | 𝐒𝐤a𝐮ツ | -0.37 | 53 | 67 |





