








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1458 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1426 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1202 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1574 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,156 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeholdItsGio | 50% | 107 |
| #2 | You'reNotÐΣΛÐ | 48% | 79 |
| #3 | Kevin | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | geeNoh[1g] | 45% | 105 |
| #5 | sllv3r | 42% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeholdItsGio | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | sllv3r | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | geeNoh[1g] | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | You'reNotÐΣΛÐ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Kevin | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geeNoh[1g] | +3.32 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | BeholdItsGio | +1.13 | 43 | 59 |
| #3 | You'reNotÐΣΛÐ | +0.44 | 61 | 55 |
| #4 | Zote | -1.14 | 47 | 60 |
| #5 | Kevin | -1.19 | 75 | 24 |





