








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1547 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1917 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1750 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1165 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,928 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rob | 56% | 100 |
| #2 | Enemy | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | ReMark | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | instnt | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | Flux | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rob | 56% | 100 |
| #2 | Enemy | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | ReMark | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | instnt | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | Flux | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rob | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Enemy | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Flux | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | ReMark | 3 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rob | 175 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | instnt | 101 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | ReMark | 72 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Enemy | 66 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Flux | 56 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rob | +1.55 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | Flux | +1.15 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | instnt | +0.90 | 59 | 61 |
| #4 | Enemy | +0.85 | 76 | 53 |
| #5 | ReMark | +0.62 | 77 | 51 |





