








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 296 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




107 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 207 | 47% |
| Smokes | 102 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 82 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 48 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,321,119 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | www.dylandollar.com | 50% | 50 |
| #2 | em:ma | 40% | 104 |
| #3 | impossible things | 40% | 40 |
| #4 | Lexi | 39% | 80 |
| #5 | girl | 34% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | em:ma | 40% | 104 |
| #3 | impossible things | 40% | 40 |
| #4 | Lexi | 39% | 80 |
| #5 | girl | 34% | 94 |
| #6 | dykewife ✿ | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexi | 36 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | em:ma | 21 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | girl | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | impossible things | 9 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | www.dylandollar.com | 8 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | impossible things | 136 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lexi | 110 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | www.dylandollar.com | 103 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | dykewife ✿ | 29 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | em:ma | 9 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dykewife ✿ | +3.26 | 77 | 45 |
| #2 | impossible things | +2.53 | 70 | 43 |
| #3 | Lexi | +1.00 | 8 | 18 |
| #4 | www.dylandollar.com | +0.79 | 27 | 41 |
| #5 | girl | +0.47 | 44 | 11 |





