








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 270 | 10% |
| Smokes | 579 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1197 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 553 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,859 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d1v | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | cl_girlfriend 0 | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | f0restfanboy | 30% | 23 |
| #4 | SnarlyFuture | 29% | 28 |
| #5 | tox1c | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | cl_girlfriend 0 | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | f0restfanboy | 30% | 23 |
| #4 | SnarlyFuture | 29% | 28 |
| #5 | tox1c | 19% | 21 |
| #6 | ASH | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnarlyFuture | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | tox1c | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | f0restfanboy | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | d1v | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ASH | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f0restfanboy | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | d1v | 65 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | SnarlyFuture | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | tox1c | 20 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | cl_girlfriend 0 | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d1v | +4.28 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | cl_girlfriend 0 | +2.79 | 80 | 48 |
| #3 | f0restfanboy | +0.68 | 72 | 50 |
| #4 | Don Flamenco | +0.13 | 45 | 36 |
| #5 | SnarlyFuture | -0.97 | 40 | 54 |





