








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 392 | 18% |
| Smokes | 539 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 616 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,019 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salibonani | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | ¥aNñ!čK | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Dafavo | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | 31er | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salibonani | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | ¥aNñ!čK | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Dafavo | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | 31er | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 31er | 3 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salibonani | 19 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | 31er | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | Dafavo | 14 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | ¥aNñ!čK | 11 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salibonani | +3.15 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | K o R o L o K | +2.77 | 63 | 48 |
| #3 | Dafavo | +0.96 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | 31er | -1.24 | 67 | 38 |
| #5 | ¥aNñ!čK | -2.20 | 41 | 62 |





