








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 771 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4514 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7199 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 4147 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3985 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,319,615 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impossimable | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | 𝓜 | 50% | 417 |
| #3 | Ascabane | 49% | 70 |
| #4 | ✪ForGiv3nSin✪ | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | TMNT PuiK | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 𝓜 | 50% | 417 |
| #3 | Ascabane | 49% | 70 |
| #4 | ✪ForGiv3nSin✪ | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | TMNT PuiK | 48% | 61 |
| #6 | TMNT Michaelongo | 44% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓜 | 15 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | TMNT Michaelongo | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Ascabane | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ✪ForGiv3nSin✪ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Impossimable | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓜 | 1718 | 0.20 | 44 min |
| #2 | TMNT Michaelongo | 303 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | TMNT PuiK | 170 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Impossimable | 120 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ForGiv3nSin✪ | 63 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ascabane | +1.80 | 21 | 46 |
| #2 | TMNT PuiK | +1.67 | 41 | 54 |
| #3 | Impossimable | +1.64 | 52 | 49 |
| #4 | ✪ForGiv3nSin✪ | -0.30 | 36 | 43 |
| #5 | TMNT Michaelongo | -0.36 | 34 | 51 |





