








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1485 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1408 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2603 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1103 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,145,965 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β
β
COCK STROKERπββ€ | 50% | 98 |
| #2 | Gwendars | 47% | 291 |
| #3 | β π―πππππ β | 46% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β
β
COCK STROKERπββ€ | 50% | 98 |
| #2 | Gwendars | 47% | 291 |
| #3 | β π―πππππ β | 46% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β
β
COCK STROKERπββ€ | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | β π―πππππ β | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Gwendars | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gwendars | 1016 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | β π―πππππ β | 525 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | β
β
COCK STROKERπββ€ | 77 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β
β
COCK STROKERπββ€ | +4.94 | 76 | 30 |
| #2 | Gwendars | +0.37 | 58 | 55 |
| #3 | β π―πππππ β | -0.55 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | confused | -2.78 | 38 | 50 |





