








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Wingman | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2166 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1697 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3543 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2771 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,226,761 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 474 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1sb3rg | 53% | 194 |
| #2 | Serrathine | 52% | 50 |
| #3 | Buggy | 50% | 137 |
| #4 | D3nze | 43% | 53 |
| #5 | ZzjamszZ | 42% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1sb3rg | 19 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Buggy | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ZzjamszZ | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | D3nze | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Serrathine | 1 | 0.0009 |





