










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 682 | 30% |
| Smokes | 471 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 701 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 383 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,840 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pholski | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Waguri | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Skullboi | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Nylice | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | biscuit | 2 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skullboi | 346 | 0.37 | 10 min |
| #2 | Waguri | 344 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #3 | sharl. | 123 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lycoris | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Beese Churger | 100 | 0.17 | 3 min |





