








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1874 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2076 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2506 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1525 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $370,156 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Слата-Кассир | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | 187 Gang👌 | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Die Kaltblütige | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | synek | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | -#Dan- | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Die Kaltblütige | 128 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | synek | 70 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | -#Dan- | 63 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | hululusmith | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | 187 Gang👌 | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | synek | +2.71 | 69 | 62 |
| #2 | ⛥TheB1rd13₃₇⛧ | +2.01 | 61 | 68 |
| #3 | aschrei | +0.93 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | -#Dan- | +0.64 | 57 | 59 |
| #5 | 187 Gang👌 | -0.99 | 46 | 61 |





