








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1742 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1494 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 788 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1098 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $471,956 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prime | 42% | 33 |
| #2 | Jia | 42% | 33 |
| #3 | OLD SWOGGER | 42% | 50 |
| #4 | Pigeon | 40% | 63 |
| #5 | Baltimore Weinstein | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jia | 42% | 33 |
| #3 | OLD SWOGGER | 42% | 50 |
| #4 | Pigeon | 40% | 63 |
| #5 | Baltimore Weinstein | 39% | 23 |
| #6 | warlord1 | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OLD SWOGGER | 16 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | Baltimore Weinstein | 8 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Jia | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Pigeon | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Prime | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pigeon | 176 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jia | 126 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Baltimore Weinstein | 89 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | OLD SWOGGER | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Prime | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prime | +4.35 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | warlord1 | +0.39 | 59 | 52 |
| #3 | Hammer | +0.18 | 57 | 63 |
| #4 | Pigeon | -0.31 | 56 | 57 |
| #5 | Baltimore Weinstein | -0.82 | 68 | 47 |





