








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3887 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3710 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4909 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4516 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,513 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | PHR1SK | 59% | 63 |
| #13 | The Dreamer | 58% | 73 |
| #14 | Woutahh | 56% | 111 |
| #15 | Otto | 54% | 24 |
| #16 | overwerk# | 53% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woutahh | 33 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | PHR1SK | 27 | 0.0228 |
| #3 | overwerk# | 22 | 0.0173 |
| #4 | The Dreamer | 9 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Bling | 8 | 0.0025 |





