








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 292 | 27% |
| Smokes | 325 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 249 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 225 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,295 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bulbiere | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | CosmicJesus | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | beze | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Akarno | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | baban benim kakamı yiyor | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beze | +3.32 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Akarno | +3.19 | 93 | 41 |
| #3 | BIG FOOTRE | +1.44 | 85 | 51 |
| #4 | baban benim kakamı yiyor | -0.49 | 76 | 51 |
| #5 | NaNyy | -0.74 | 86 | 58 |





