








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 234 | 21% |
| Smokes | 292 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 314 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 257 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $126,758 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spidergum | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | unstable | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | zazen | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | owloN | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Frankst3r | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazen | 4 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | unstable | 3 | 0.0313 |
| #3 | kinQ | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Frankst3r | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spidergum | +5.31 | 90 | 43 |
| #2 | kinQ | +2.55 | 87 | 72 |
| #3 | Frankst3r | +0.56 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | owloN | +0.40 | 83 | 69 |
| #5 | zazen | -0.20 | 77 | 65 |





