








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 635 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 188 matches | ||
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3545 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4115 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3563 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1329 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,351 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Zurkov | 48% | 427 |
| #2 | ApolloFixed | 43% | 60 |
| #3 | SpeedoGM | 31% | 32 |
| #4 | FUSRODAH | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Zurkov | 48% | 427 |
| #2 | ApolloFixed | 43% | 60 |
| #3 | SpeedoGM | 31% | 32 |
| #4 | FUSRODAH | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Zurkov | 20 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ApolloFixed | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | FUSRODAH | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Zurkov | 1097 | 0.13 | 34 min |
| #2 | FUSRODAH | 94 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | SpeedoGM | 74 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | ApolloFixed | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FUSRODAH | +3.67 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | General Zurkov | +2.84 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | beardzeus | -1.74 | 24 | 53 |
| #4 | ApolloFixed | -3.69 | 17 | 33 |
| #5 | SpeedoGM | -5.11 | 21 | 55 |





