










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 12 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 5 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $46,009 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HowCanIBeGay?MyBitchIsHomophobic | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Baremangus | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HowCanIBeGay?MyBitchIsHomophobic | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Baremangus | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baremangus | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | HowCanIBeGay?MyBitchIsHomophobic | 13 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baremangus | +3.66 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | HowCanIBeGay?MyBitchIsHomophobic | -1.46 | 65 | 50 |
| #3 | BlumBlum | -9.30 | 37 | 6 |





