








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 704 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6918 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5334 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4097 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5772 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,374,308 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishkuru #10k | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | Jayymes | 52% | 283 |
| #3 | LaVanas | 51% | 316 |
| #4 | turbo_waffntechnika | 50% | 207 |
| #5 | Ur mom a dude | 48% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishkuru #10k | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | Jayymes | 52% | 283 |
| #3 | LaVanas | 51% | 316 |
| #4 | turbo_waffntechnika | 50% | 207 |
| #5 | Ur mom a dude | 48% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayymes | 30 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | turbo_waffntechnika | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Ur mom a dude | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | LaVanas | 7 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayymes | 1068 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | turbo_waffntechnika | 811 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #3 | Ur mom a dude | 168 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | LaVanas | 145 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #5 | Fishkuru #10k | 103 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishkuru #10k | +5.84 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Jayymes | +4.01 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | TheLegend27 | -0.68 | 58 | 76 |
| #4 | turbo_waffntechnika | -0.84 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | LaVanas | -0.89 | 64 | 36 |





