








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1384 | 57% |
| Smokes | 625 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 186 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 222 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,812 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 443 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZxC Kael | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | 『ĢŴ』{ŘḘḐ}ḞốӼӿYT | 38% | 13 |
| #3 | lovers rock | 38% | 34 |
| #4 | SkyZxZ | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZxC Kael | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | 『ĢŴ』{ŘḘḐ}ḞốӼӿYT | 38% | 13 |
| #3 | lovers rock | 38% | 34 |
| #4 | SkyZxZ | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lovers rock | 27 | 0.0435 |
| #2 | SkyZxZ | 3 | 0.0205 |
| #3 | 『ĢŴ』{ŘḘḐ}ḞốӼӿYT | 2 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZxC Kael | 63 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | lovers rock | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | SkyZxZ | 13 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | 『ĢŴ』{ŘḘḐ}ḞốӼӿYT | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZxC Kael | +1.54 | 44 | 60 |
| #2 | SkyZxZ | +1.19 | 29 | 36 |
| #3 | Mr.Proud℠ | -0.08 | 52 | 46 |
| #4 | lovers rock | -0.95 | 45 | 26 |
| #5 | 『ĢŴ』{ŘḘḐ}ḞốӼӿYT | -2.16 | 21 | 15 |





