








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1984 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1523 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1039 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 955 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $341,351 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nappa | 57% | 14 |
| #7 | ItsChang | 55% | 49 |
| #8 | LEMon ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | Sid the Sloth | 50% | 18 |
| #10 | Mysterise | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nappa | 3 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | ItsChang | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Asterius | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | taco | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Mysterise | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asterius | 649 | 0.49 | 17 min |
| #2 | Reacher78 | 333 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | taco | 212 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | ItsChang | 138 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sid the Sloth | 72 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soda | +4.17 | 66 | 67 |
| #2 | no.sound | +3.34 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | taco | +2.15 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | Asterius | +0.59 | 64 | 71 |
| #5 | ItsChang | +0.36 | 87 | 64 |





