








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 629 | 21% |
| Smokes | 509 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1075 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 832 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,751 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr(tL|λL)=λLe−λLtL | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Visas prancūziškas skrebutis | 8 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | EleM3Ntas | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | vakx | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Busima_koma | 5 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr(tL|λL)=λLe−λLtL | 310 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | EleM3Ntas | 225 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jule.s | 143 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Visas prancūziškas skrebutis | 124 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | vakx | 123 | 0.11 | 3 min |





